Chermin Tour Guide Speak

The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience. The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him. He goes “sight-seeing.””     Daniel J Boorstin  

I recently decided to take on my role as a visiting tourist seriously.

Yes, the time had arrived!

Bright Idea

Bright Idea
I was ready to step up!
But what did I consider to be serious hardcore tourist activity?
What was I to sight see? What was to be my next step?
Suddenly the light came on… thankfully, I looked above my head and noticed the flashing!
There was to be no more catching the beginner tourist’s Hop On Hop Off bus tour around the city. No more wandering these streets looking for circled attractions on my well-worn map. No more ambushing unsuspecting locals and requesting directions in English s-l-o-w-l-y, CLEARLY and repetitively, repetitively, repetitively.
Castle Neuschwanstein & Tourist
Castle Neuschwanstein & Tourist

I booked my first full day bus tour WITH a tour guide. Yes, I had decided that real tourists visit cliché castles hidden amongst picturesque scenery.

St Wolfgang Lake
St Wolfgang Lake

 Yes, it was time to join one of the herds and become a sheep shadowing one of those guides who holds a flag, brochure, flashing light or other symbolic signboard above their head. You’ve seen them before. They walk down winding streets, stopping on corners like a caring mother duck to gather their trusting charges and then disperse information about history, celebrity, sustenance or toilet availability.  

I have to admit that I did really enjoy my mother duck and was happy to take on the the role of young chick not having to think too hard… along with enjoying all that breathtaking scenery and fairytale castles.

But, I discovered, the most enjoyable part of my day was learning ‘Chermin Tour Guide Speak’. You may well ask, what is this new language? Please find below a few key phrases and conversation pieces translated and interpreted for when you become a tourist in Deutschland.

What I Heard: English Translation: Interpreted As:
Vive mint sdop onlee. 5 minute stop only. No time for looking, taking photos or chatting to a local.
U möost nut eet You must not eat This is only a toilet stop for the old guy up the front who can’t hold on any longer.
U möost bee un taim

You must be on time.                  

Be here 5 minutes before we are due to leave or the bus will go without you.
Vee arh er gröop. We are a group. You must think of others in the group and always be on time. You will be assimilated!
Ven eh voz sa göol… When I was a girl… Times have not really changed for the better since you tourists arrived.
Eet ees nut hie ut irl. It is not high at all What is not high in Europe is definitely considered high at home.
Zumtaims peepull cüm furmenny owtsed acteeviteez. Sometimes people come for many outside activities.

Outdoor activities… what kind?  I was expecting camping,maybe bunjee jumping…

Oohh…zueezide Oh… suicide Yep, that’s a great outdoor activity!

Auf Wiedersehen… until next time!

Leave a Reply